First let me share a piece of music with you. I know it's terrible, because I played it. And I'm sorry it's not the worst one. I still got something to show you. Don't laugh, it's an entire story. If you really want to understand what it is talking about? You can check my weibo later. This picture I painted last year. I have another one to show you, this is much better. This picture I painted, twenty years ago.
So I know you might have a question. How is it getting worse? And I also understand that most of your conclusion must be: out of imagination. But how it happened. I think it is because I become an adult. Since we became adults. We started being afraid of making mistakes. We choose to be the best or nothing. So, we do not dare to try any mistakes. It seems that we trapped ourselves in the overprotective world. I sense them we started to lose a lot of ability, like imagination, and creativity.
What is the strategy? For me I have a special one. It's been a positive pessimist. Let me explain the concept first.
怎么办呢？对于我来说答案就是要做一个积极的悲观主义者。让我来解释一下。
To be a pessimist means, you get low expectation to yourself. And you prepare to lose. And what about being positive? It is easy to understand that means you make best effort on everything, and you have a strong willing of winning the game. But if you combine this concept together. It seems that is a paradox. Yes I think so, but I also think it is the way the world is it born to be. And it really works in the reality. We can always find something around us. They have totally opposite two sides, but they combine together, and work well together.
So how to be a positive pessimist. Let me share some experience with you. I know I'm not old enough to tell stories. But these stories really meant to me.
The first one back to 2012, it's the first time I become a TV series producer. But as you know, I am an actress and a singer. But working as a producer was totally unfamiliar for me. So you remember first I have to be a pessimist. I had to imagine what will be the worst consequence. I think the worst result must be no one would buy it. And I will lose both my time and money. And the whole investment equal to the revenue I earned by acting for the past few years.
And what about the whole market? You know in China, only 20% of the TV series can finally sold and broadcast on TV. What about the rest 80%? In the past, they just changed into a pipe of tapes. But now even worse, we just only datas left.
So I asked myself several times, "Can you really accept the worst consequences?" I think yes, at least, I could try, so I started shooting. Remember, next step, I have to be positive. Because I am a huge digital fan, I decided to use some high techniques in my TV series. So I focused on 4K resolution.
What is 4K? Let me explain. Usually, you see a film on the screen in the movie theater the size is 2K. What 4K means is four times larger than 2K. And also means 50MB per frame. You might still be a little bit confused. It's okay, don't worry, you just have to remember, it was a huge obstacle in front of all the TV series group in China. Because before us, only a few groups tried 4K resolution. They input 4K, but no one really tried to output 4K productions. Because it was really hard. Only Director Zhang yimou was trying in his film, "Coming Home", for the first time.
And when we finished the shooting work, when we entered the post production work, the real nightmare came. I still remember we want to output a five-minute trail for Beijing TV Festival. But after a whole day's work until the computer crashed, we just got 50 seconds trails. I was crazy, what can I do? This is a 30 episodes TV series. I just got 50 seconds, so I asked our counselor, because at that time, our technical support was RED, which is the biggest digital camera company in America. Their feedback was, they use HP base station in America. But we didn't have any HP base station in China. It was too expensive, we can not even afford that. So we decided to assemble out black Apple and we tried the outcome mode from dozens of combinations. After six months' work we succeeded. My TV series "The Ladies", became the first TV series in China, which output real 4K resolution production. And I succeeded in selling it and with a very good performance on TV. So after this experience, I learned, don't be afraid to take a huge challenge. You can prepare to lose, but conquer it with grit.
The next story happened last year. I took an invitation from BEAR GRYLLS. Is there anyone know that? If you know that you might thought I was crazy. Yes, this man who stands on the top of the food chain. He almost eats everything. You might think I was crazy. Yeah, before that I did no physical activities, I have very bad body condition. I was afraid of a lot of things, I was afraid of height and insects. I didn't even dare to take a roller coaster.
But I almost took this invitation immediately. Because I truly understand if I lost this chance, I would never earn it back in the rest of my life. So I decided to take the adventure. During the twenty days' adventure, I caught rats, I caught mice, I ate insects. But I didn't drink the urine. And I almost cried every day in the first half journey.
And the most impressive moment was the day before the last day. I still remember that day, our mission was to cross a canyon, just through a rope hanging between two cliffs. You can see from the picture, but you can't see the width, it's very long. And, the standard posture was leaning your whole body onto the rope. And use one of your legs backside to hookup the rope with the ankle. And pull yourself from one side to the other.
When it was my turn, BEAR said, "Cecilia, are you really sure you want to try that? If you want to quit, you can quit now because I know you can't make balance. You can't use your left arm." Because I was not lucky before that mission, about two days ago, I hurt my left arm, my nerves system got injured. And my little finger kept shaking for a whole day. I can't even control that. I can barely use my left arm.
So as a pessimist I have to imagine the worst consequence. Because it was a reality show. You know, reality show is very dangerous if you can't perform 100% well. Sometimes it means you will face savage criticism online later. And I might fall down again, or I hurt my right arm as well. So I have been thinking about, should I really have to try that? I think at least I won't die. So what? I decided to take that mission. But when I really lean my body onto that rope, it was far more scary than I thought. You can see from the picture because my posture, as my team member said, my posture was so ugly. Because she said I was just like a dead caterpillar hanging there. I just kept my half body on one side, and left the rest part on the other side.
And it was not the worst one. The worst was because my arm could not hold my upper body and my head, I could not face up. I could not see the end. So what could I do? I know that I have to think positive. I also know that sometimes being positive doesn't mean you just speak out some propagandas. You have to do something for real. But at that moment, the only thing I could see was a rock just three meters ahead, nothing else. So I decided to set small targets, so I focus on that rock. There is something magical happens, when I really concentrated to that rock. I forgot about the height, I forgot about keeping balance. I even forgot about the end. I just remembered to focus on that, and pull myself. Then I started seeking more targets in front of me. And any tiny objects became glittering images in front of me. After trying several times, I realized that I was so close to the end. And finally, I succeeded.
So after that experience, I learned there is no shame to be a loser. You just need to set small targets, and devote yourself. So these stories which happened to me, shaped me as a positive pessimist. And until today I know that I am still a bad piano player, a bad painter, and not a very successful producer. But I love to be a positive pessimist. And I know nothing can stop me being better.
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